When we hear the word "game", we usually picture something frivolous. A board game with friends, a die, cards, the urge to win.
But imagine a different situation.
You have wanted to increase your income for a long time. You know you need to raise your prices, find new clients or finally launch your own project. It all seems clear. But one month passes, then another, and you still change nothing.
Why?
You could draw up a plan once more, read a book or talk the situation over with a friend. Or you could try looking at your question differently, through a transformational game.
My name is Olga Loresh. I created Sex&Money, a game in which we explore our relationship with money and desire. Today I want to explain what transformational games are, how they work and why a person at an ordinary game table sometimes notices what they had not seen before.
A transformational game in plain words
Imagine a board game in which nobody competes for first place. Every participant has a question of their own that they brought to the table.
Someone wants to sort out their money. Someone has been thinking about changing jobs for a long time. Someone finds it hard to talk about their desires, make decisions or stand up for their personal boundaries.
Instead of the usual conversation, participants move across the board, roll dice, draw cards and do the practices they are given. The facilitator helps keep to the rules and supports the process but does not hand out ready answers.
That is what makes it interesting.
In everyday life we often tell the same familiar story about ourselves. "That's the kind of person I am." "It's always like this for me." "Now isn't the right time." We are so used to these explanations that we stop noticing other options.
And then a card comes up with a question you have no prepared answer for. And you have to stop and think.
A transformational game helps you look at a situation from the outside, notice your own reactions and find options that had not occurred to you before.
It does not make decisions for the person. The decision stays with them.
Why a game sometimes works better than an ordinary conversation
There is one interesting feature: in a game you do not know in advance which question will be in front of you next.
In Sex&Money the player rolls the die, and the move decides where they land. The cards are prepared in advance, but the order of the questions takes shape as the game goes on.
This changes the usual course of a conversation. The person does not have to choose a topic they would like to talk about. Sometimes it is precisely the unexpected question that makes them think.
Say you came with a request to increase your income. You would expect to discuss prices, sales and the number of clients. But during the game a question may come up about how freely you allow yourself to want more, how you treat your own needs and what happens when you have to ask to be paid for your work.
Perhaps you will discover a habit of agreeing to unfavourable terms. Or perhaps you will realise the problem lies somewhere else entirely. The game does not prescribe what conclusion to draw. It gives you a reason to explore your situation.
It is important to understand, though, that financial difficulties are not always about inner beliefs. Income depends on the market, circumstances, the opportunities available and many other factors. The game lets you look at the personal side of the question, but it does not replace an analysis of the real situation.
I like that a person can notice something important without long explanations or other people's advice. Sometimes one well-placed question turns out to be more useful than ten recommendations you have already heard.
What happens at the game table
Take Sex&Money as an example. One session lasts about three hours. You can play one-to-one or in a group of up to six.
Everything begins with a request. Each participant puts into words what they came with and what they want to make clearer for themselves.
Then the moves begin. Participants move across the board, draw cards, do practices and watch the results of their decisions.
Sex&Money has two game currencies: dollars and hearts. The hearts are also called orgasms. They are there so that participants' actions show up in their game balance. Money can be earned, lost, invested and used in different situations.
There is also an unusual mechanic for checking practices. After doing an exercise the participant rolls the die. The number decides whether the practice counts as lived or stayed at the level of theory. That determines whether the bank pays the player or the player has to pay.
Why do this?
Because agreeing with a useful thought and actually doing something are different things. The game mechanic is a reminder of that difference.
The Mirrors have a special place. Here the participant returns to questions about desire but now looks at them through money. It is a chance to see similar situations from another side.
At the end participants talk about what they noticed and what conclusions they drew. Sometimes the answer is clear straight away. Sometimes you want to come back to it a few days later, in everyday life.
And that is normal. A game does not have to solve all of a person's questions in three hours. Its job is to help them see their situation better and sketch out the next step.
How a transformational game differs from a training
In a training the trainer usually passes on knowledge, explains methods and shows how to do certain things correctly. Participants learn to apply that knowledge.
A transformational game works differently. The facilitator does not decide for the player which choice is right for them. The card asks the question, and the participant looks for the answer themselves.
Say that at a training you are told how to negotiate your salary properly. You understand the logic, write down the recommendations and leave with new knowledge.
In the game you may face the question: what exactly stops you from naming the amount you want? Here you cannot just write down the right answer. You have to work out what is going on with you personally.
They are different formats, and they can complement each other well.
Is it psychotherapy?
No. A transformational game is a format of its own for working with a request, not a substitute for psychotherapy.
During the game participants explore their thoughts, reactions and habitual ways of making decisions. But the facilitator does not diagnose and does not treat psychological or physical illnesses.
It also matters to me that a person feels free. Taking part is voluntary, and any card can be skipped. Personal stories should not be discussed outside the game.
There are situations when it is better not to take part and to look for a different kind of help. For example, if a person is in an acute crisis or going through a very difficult state, a game may be the wrong format.
A good facilitator understands the limits of their tool and does not promise what a game cannot guarantee.
Who can run transformational games
I often meet psychologists, coaches, body practitioners and women's circle facilitators who want to widen the set of tools they use with people.
They already have clients, their own approach and experience of running sessions. But sometimes they want to offer people something new, especially when the usual consultation format is not enough or they want to set up group work.
For such specialists a transformational game can become an additional service.
It is important to understand, however, that buying a box of cards is not enough. A facilitator needs to learn the method, get to grips with the rules, learn to hold the structure of a session and know how to act in difficult situations.
In Sex&Money there is separate training for this. Depending on the option chosen, the facilitator receives the written method, a video course or live lessons with me, and before certification runs a trial game that we review together.
You can find out more on the Sex&Money facilitator training page
How to tell whether this format is for you
The simplest way is to try playing.
You do not have to buy the game or take the training straight away. To begin with, it is enough to get a feel for how the process works and whether you like the format itself.
The Loresh Games website has a short online demo of Sex&Money. Enter your name and make three rolls. It takes about a minute and lets you get to know the game's mechanics.
After that you can explore the game itself, see how a full session runs and decide whether you would rather take part as a player or run such sessions yourself.
If you already work with people, pay attention to the questions your clients raise most often. That may be exactly where you see a use for a transformational game in your practice.
Sometimes it all starts with one question
I like watching people come into a game with one idea of their situation and leave with a different view of it.
Not because the die gave them the right answer or a card revealed some universal truth. Simply because for a few hours a person stops, gives attention to their own question and gets the chance to look at it from different angles.
Sometimes that is enough to see a new way of acting. After that, everything depends on the person.
If you want to learn more about transformational games, take a look at the Loresh Games journal. There you can get to know individual games, read the story of how they were made and understand how a facilitator's work is organised.
And if you want to find out whether Sex&Money is right for you, write to me.
Go to the Contact page and fill in the short form. Tell me in a few lines what you do now, what caught your interest and what you would like to know more about.
Perhaps you want to play yourself. Or you are looking for a new tool for your practice. Or perhaps for now you have more questions than answers.
That is fine. You do not have to decide in advance.
I answer messages personally, usually within a day. And we can calmly discuss which next step makes sense for you.